August 4, 2014
I have recently been battling in my mind and heart what the true meaning of the infamous four letter word LOVE really means. I don’t know that I’ll ever fully understand it’s depths but I yearn to have some level of deeper meaning attached with this word that I believe is easily thrown off people’s lips and carelessly given away. However, love, in all it’s different levels of intensity, is extremely worth handing out.
Today, I taught my girl Allie a violin lesson. She is such a gem! Her smile brightens up the whole room and her sense of humor is priceless. She is also a very hard worker and prides herself on others praise of her hard work.
Last week I gave her a homework assignment (which I do often for most of my students). Her homework assignment was very different than any of my other students though. For one thing, she is the only girl that I teach, and not only that, but I see a lot of myself in her. Anyways, the assignment was to write down one good thing from each day on a note card and bring it back to me. She did. She wrote very good things like, “I have a great mommy and daddy” “I like having a sister.” and my personal favorite, “I have a very nice violin teacher” 😉 haha the funny thing is, that when I gave her that assignment I mentioned offhandedly that I often times do that type of thing myself. I really do try too most days, some are more successful than others though. This week she showed up with this beautiful box that was covered in positive affirmations and inspirational things and she said, “This is for you to keep all your good things in.” And my heart was moved. Is this love? The gratitude I have for this girl is astounding. That one little gesture meant the world to me.
She is a child of God, designed perfectly in his eyes. (mine too, actually) I would be doing her a grave disservice if all I taught her in our time together was how to play violin. She is a jewel amongst many ashes of coal. She is only 8 and I can already sense that she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders…just like I did. But I can help her story to be different from mine. Not that mine has been bad, or that I would ever change it…but it has been splattered with many stains that have in turn, made me many years older than just the simple number 20. No bleach or Clorox could ever wash out these stains in my life, but I have learned to accept them – some days, to even embrace them. BUT. I would never wish them on this child of God.
I struggle with how I can help her learn and grow without carrying her burdens for her. I only spend 1 hour a week with her, and that is not enough to know her daily struggles, although I know quite a few of them because they have been so familiar to my own. She helps me, and I only wish to return the favor. When I’m having a hard day and struggling to meet the daily requirements that my life requires I meet, my hearts pulls at my brain saying, “Set a good example for Allie. What would you want for little Allie to do if you two switched places.” And then I am better able to take deep breaths and eat a simple meal, or calm my own anxieties, or reach out for help if I need it. Having her presence in my life has helped me more than she will ever realize and I only wish to play the same role for her – obviously in very different ways.
So what is love? Is all of this love? Or is love simply a 4 letter adjective that is grossly over used by young couples who believe that they will spend forever together?
L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don’t break it
Love was made for me and you
How about this one:
L is for loving yourself 1st
O is for having an open mind and open heart
V is for very very extra-kind and caring
E is everyone, no exceptions
Love is growing in Jesus Christ
Love is forgiving despite your strife
We, alone, can’t do this
Take my heart, Lord, you can mend it.
Love was made to be shared with everyone.
Not as catchy I realize that, but I think it’s a more accurate version of the famous Nat King Cole song.
So, I guess this post was pretty pointless because I’m just as confused as to what love really is as I was when I sat down and began typing. I do know, however, that Jesus Christ is perfect love. I think maybe that’s the only definition that we really need to know and internalize. There’s other love that comes in different forms. (And don’t even get me started on my viewpoint of soul mates :p ) Sorry for such a pointless circle of thoughts haha. Anyways, I hope everyone had a wonderful start to their week!