Redefine Selfish

Selfish~
adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself:
selfish motives.

Things I’m tired of hearing about:
1. The ALS ice bucket challenge. Why is dumping a bucket of ice cold water on your head to avoid donating to charity even a thing?
2. Mike Brown being shot by a white cop.
3. Politics in general
4. Ebola Virus.

Can we all just be a little bit selfish for just a bit? When I get on Facebook, it’s not to see all this depressing news and hear about wars, violence, racism, disease, death, tragedy, and the list of negativity goes on…it’s to see how my friends and loved ones are doing. When I get on social media such as facebook, instagram, even snapchat…I want to know about YOU. Maybe I’m just not “mature enough” to be able to handle “reality” but the news has really been getting me down lately.

I think it’s time that we all are a little selfish. I don’t mean selfish in the: “That’s mine, you can’t have it.” “I’m perfect and you’re not.” “Everything is always about me and only me…the world revolves around me and me alone.” (all in quotes because I’ve heard them first hand from my own sister’s mouth.) I don’t really know how to adequately express what’s going through my head at the moment, so I’m gonna type it all out in list form:

1. It’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. It’s okay to protect yourself. You are not a door mat and you should never allow people to treat you that way. People will call you selfish if you protect yourself by distancing yourself from them and putting up walls. They are wrong.
2. Let’s talk about US when we hang out. Being social is a huge part of life, but it seems like a lot of friendships these days thrive only on the discussion of others. When I hang out with you, I genuinely want to hear about YOU. I don’t care about discussing (aka: gossiping) about others because I want to know what’s going on in your life. You’re triumphs and your struggles are all important to me. Also, without gossiping, it makes the environment a safer place where I feel like I can share my true self with you as well!
3. Let’s be authentic. There is not a soul on this earth who doesn’t have problems. Talk about them. Don’t hide behind other issues, or other people’s issues.
4. It’s not selfish to talk about yourself sometimes. You deserve to speak your mind; to say how something affects you or makes you feel. Feelings are real and you can talk about your own because they’re always valid.
5. Don’t be afraid to say no. You can say no to your friends, family, co-workers, significant other. If you don’t feel like going out, it’s not selfish to say so.
6. When it’s your time to shine – SOAK IT UP! There SHOULD be special moments in life that revolve around you and are your time to shine. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior or like you don’t deserve that. If you worked hard for it – you go get it!

The list goes on and on. I think I probably wrote this post for myself, more than anyone else. (How selfish of me ;p haha) But these are all things that I’ve been experiencing and trying to allow myself to be okay with. I’ve always felt like if any attention is on me, that I’m being selfish. If I didn’t feel up for something that others wanted me to do, it was selfish of me to say no. Sometimes I feel like just existing is selfish of me.

It’s okay to talk about YOU.
It’s okay to state YOUR feelings.
It’s okay for YOU to shine.
It’s okay for YOU to have attention (in fact, you deserve that!!)
It’s okay for YOU to say no.
It’s okay for YOU to talk about yourself and your experience of something.

“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.”
― Karl Lagerfeld

I love this quote because I feel like it’s saying that it’s okay to do what you need to do to take care of yourself because if you aren’t healthy (emotionally, mentally, physically, etc) then you can’t offer anything to the world or those around you. So, by being a tad bit selfish and taking care of yourself first, you are better able to give back and do self-less things in your life. YOU DO YOU AND THEN YOU GO OUT THERE AND DO GOOD!!

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