I’ve Got Questions That Need Answers

I’ve got questions.

I’ve got a whole pile of complicated, sticky, nasty, gruesome, nails on a chalk board, type of questions. Questions that have no specific “right” answer. Questions that are open ended and thought provoking. I’ve got a lot of questions and no one to ask.

Boundaries create a whole pile of issues. I can’t ask so-and-so because it’s too personal. I can’t ask that person because it would make them uncomfortable. I can’t say anything about it to him/her because they may get offended. Don’t mention x, y, or z to that person because it’s weird to think about those types of questions, and even weirder to ask for answers to those types of questions.

^All things I’ve heard.

I don’t want to be “that weird kid” or that kid who talks too much or the one who asks too many questions, or even worse…the one who asks uncomfortable questions.

But I’ve got questions.

The main one is this: I want to know how people go day in and day out, living without knowing the Almighty God. What is their source of hope? How do they find peace? What happens when they get anxious or scared? Who do they run too for comfort? How do they possibly keep going day after day after day?

Because you see, here’s the thing: without God I would be dead. I mean this is many different ways. Given my history and experiences I would actually physically be dead without knowing God. But if I somehow managed to not literally be dead then I would be dead figuratively. My life would know no hope. I wouldn’t know how or why to get out of bed in the morning. Music would have no meaning to me. I would be even more of a basket case than I currently am (haha kind of sort of but I’m actually a little bit serious)!

What’s the point of life if there’s no God? How do people find true love or true life in anything they do if there’s no real point in doing anything at all? What is all the effort for? There are some absolutely magnificent human beings that I know and who have impacted my life in huge ways, and they are not necessarily Christians (I say this because I am not the judge and I can not see others hearts or ever know what they TRULY believe, this is just my perception based on comments here or there). How cam these people manage to be so uplifting, so impactful, so moving when they have no end goal in life? What is their motivation? What guides them? What moves them? What is this whole journey for?!

But most of all – what do they look forward too?

I can not wait till the day that I can kneel before my heavenly father. It is then that I will experience complete freedom from the chains that hold me down here on earth. I will feel the full extent of all that “happiness” truly holds and means. I will feel free and I will finally get to SEE my Savior face to face. I hope he likes hugs, because that’s what I look forward too most – finally hugging my heavenly father! That hope, dream, ideal, etc is what gets me out of bed when days are especially hard. I am working for something. I have a goal. I have an end destination. None of this is futile, and none of the work I do now will be forgotten or left behind. It is all for a greater good – the good of the almighty heavenly Father. Without this belief that provides me with hope, strength, courage, peace, happiness, love, etc I have no idea of how I would be able to survive a single day. I am far too weak to walk through this life alone and I have confidence and peace in saying that because I know that I am not the only one. I want to impact people, bring them to Christ, free them from the earthly things that have no lasting impact on who they are/will be. I want everyone to know this truth:

“You aren’t what’s been done to you but what Jesus has done for you. You aren’t what you do but what Jesus has done. What you do doesn’t determine who you are. Rather, who you are in Christ determines what you do.”
― Mark Driscoll, Who Do You Think You Are?: Finding Your True Identity in Christ

Only in Christ, can true hope be found. Only in Christ, can true love be felt. Only in Christ, can lives be transformed. Only in Christ, do we find purpose. Only in Christ, will there be life after death.

2 of my favorite days from Sarah Younge’s “Jesus Calling” devotional.