Coming Clean

Jesus + anything will ruin absolutely everything.

As humans we have hundreds, maybe even thousands of distractions every single day.  From jobs to the things on TV.  It’s so easy to lose focus and fall away from God.  Often times, other things consume the forefront of our minds and demand all of our time and energy.

Maybe it’s people pleasing. Maybe you find yourself being consumed and relying on the opinions of those around you to judge your worth and value.  Maybe it’s your job – consuming all of your time and energy, taking you away from your family and your God.  Maybe it’s a dysfunctional relationship in your life.  It could be anything really – anything you give too much power too.

For me, it was anorexia.  It’s time to come right out and say it.  I’ve lived with, and carried shame about it for too long.  What better way to crush and conquer feelings of shame then to do the exact opposite of what it is that they’re telling me to do?  I refuse to stay quiet any longer.

This time last year, I was sitting in a hospital in Denver, CO.  I had lost about 1/3 of my body weight and basically any hope or enthusiam for life.  I was there for 11 weeks.

I worked.

I cried.

I fought.

But ultimately, what saved my life is that I chose to surrender.

I surrendered to the process of recovery and all the uphill battles and wars it encompasses, but in that process of surrender – I also surrendered to God.

God took my life and made me new.  He restored my body, my mind, but most importantly  – my heart.  And this, my friends, is when I learned that: Jesus + anything will ruin everything.

I couldn’t honor God AND my eating disorder

At the time (the 2nd time, actually) that I fell prey to this wretched disease, I was so engrossed in it’s demonic and mind-consuming messages that Iwas too far from God to even be able to manage to cry out for help.

And so, as the disorder developed and took ahold of me, I (subconsciously) began to praise and worship it.  I HAD to do what that little voice inside my head told me to do because I was so horrible that I deserved all the consequences it brought with it – and ultimately death.  Or so I thought.

But as I slowly (and VERY painfully) began to regain my physical health, I became a new person entirely.  I was able to have conversations, to read AND remember what I had read – and therefore I was able to read, learn, and worship GOD.

God not only saved me spiritually, but he saved my physical body as well.

His mercies are new every morning – and He ALWAYS offers 2nd chances.  For that, I am forever grateful.

My point is this – focuing on praising, worshiping, etc anything aside from Jesus will literally ruin everything.  For me, it stole my friendships, physical health, and almost my life here on earth.  I think it’s crucial to know that no matter how strong our faith is – the devil will always try to steal the spot light in our lives.  It’s time to change our equation.

It doesn’t have to be : Jesus + (insert your individual God/idol here) ruins everything.

We can change that equation to: Jesus + love will provide everything.

We all have a path in life. This includes individual lessons, trials, and yes – triumphs. We can’t go wrong as long as God is our ONLY God.

This is my testimony, or at least a little sliver of it.  I am growing, changing, learning, and evolving every single day – but I’m doing all of this with my eyes and heart on the Lord Jesus Christ.  As far as recovery goes, I’d be lying if I said it was easy now or that I’m “fixed” because that is so far from the truth. I have good days and bad days.  I’m on my way up the mountain, but I’m not out of the woods yet.  Everyday I have to remind myself that I am “Wonderfully and fearfully made” in God’s own image and that God never makes mistakes – He makes everything perfect in its own time – including you and me.

So go forth and change the world!! Don’t let shame rule your life or keep you quiet.  Always keep your eyes, mind, and heart on the master artist of it all!!


“There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them.  But they ar ethere for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.”

-Paulo Coelho


Phillipans 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

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