I am a 21 year old
girl. Woman? Girl-woman? I suppose technically I am a woman, but mentally I am still a girl. I realize that, given my medical history, my life has looked a little (lot) different than the average 21 year old’s life. However, I really don’t think that there’s a time line for our insecurities. Every single woman on this earth has felt insecure at some point or another…or if you’re like me—many points continuously, over and over again, hundreds of times.
In addition to being a 21 year old girl-woman, I am also an avid Christian. I have spent hundreds of hours sitting in a church pew, hundreds of hours whispering prayers, hundreds of thousands of hours singing and worshiping God, and many, many, nights laying wide awake questioning all of it. I think that’s part of the believing process – the questioning. As the belief and the faith get stronger, the questions also get harder and harder. However, the answers, in my own experience, have become more and more rewarding.
How is it, though, that as women we can have the courage to cultivate unshakeable belief and faith, yet still not be able to see our beauty through and in Christ? I can only speak from my personal experience with the world around me, but I KNOW that Satan has been hard at work trying to upend my confidence in God, trying to uproot the deeply grown foundations of my life, and feeding me lies of the world’s expectations and standards that it imposes on me.
Whether you’ve been through the pure hell I’ve had to fight against personally with having an eating disorder, or not – I think we can all agree that society pins the image of the “perfect” woman to be one who is tall, slender, fit, and (obviously because she is tall, slender, and fit *insert eye roll here) has her life together and is living happily day in and day out.
Hate to ruin it, but that “perfect” woman, doesn’t exist. A woman may APPEAR to be tall, slender, and fit. A woman may APPEAR to have it all together. Neither of those things coincide with living a happy and fulfilled life. In order to live a happy and fulfilled life we need one thing: confidence. How do we achieve unshakable confidence? By knowing, understanding, and cultivating Christ’s unconditional love for us.
Take every crash course in confidence building that you want, throw your money away on every self help book ever written, sign up for every daily “confidence boosting” e-mail site you can find – it will never be enough. Get fit, buy a new wardrobe, get a new job, marry the “perfect” spouse – that won’t work either. None of those things provide a lasting answer to the question that every woman asks, “Do you think I’m beautiful?”
Whether we admit it or not, it’s our nature. I recently read the book titled, “Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” By Angela Thomas – it’s wonderful. I highly recommend it -but buy yourself a good box of tissues before you start it because I cried like a little baby every time I opened it.
It’s true that, as woman, we seemed to be wired to want to give and receive love – to share beauty, as well as to be seen as beautiful. However, we need to crucially consider where we’re looking for this love and affirmation of beauty. Nothing any man can say, nothing we can buy, no amount of weight we lose, etc, can ever provide us with a suitable answer to our need to be beautiful and sought after. Tangible things are temporary. Tangible things are things that are, if we’re lucky, here for our enjoyment on earth, but they won’t ever last (and usually don’t even last while here!). In order to know our true worth, to acquire the confidence needed to live a happy and fulfilling life, we need to take all our needs for love and beauty to God.
God loves us unconditionally. God thinks we are beautiful. God wants us to be happy, healthy, and to feel loved. God wants us to release the aching of our heart to Him – He wants to heal us. God wants to show us that He is CRAZY in love with us. It’s not a formal, business-type relationship that we’re talking about here. Our relationship with God should be the best romance we’ve ever experienced – the only true source of unconditional love, the true source of knowing and feeling beautiful.
“You are beautiful.
You are desired.
You are known.
You are held.
You are protected.
You are rescued.
You are forgiven.
You are precious.
You are My Princess.
You are My beautiful bride.
This is the heart of God for you. These are the truths of Scripture written about you and me, and therefore, my friend, they are so.”
“Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” -Angela Thomas