I am curled up in a tight ball on my friends couch. I can not accurately describe the beauty of what lays before me. There is a huge open green space just outside french doors. Then you can see the mountains reaching as far as they can up into the heavens. The clouds are pink and fluffy and being dragged downward by the sun who is trying so desperately to get some sleep. This is beauty, peace, pure bliss – this, my friends, is GOD.
I have always been particularly enamored with sunsets and sunrises. Throw in some mountains and mother nature and I’m a goner – head over heels in love with everything about it. I tried for the longest time to figure out why these moments meant so much to me and moved me in such deep ways, aside from the fact that they are simply breathtaking. I don’t have all the answers, but I have my own answer, and it is this: sunsets and sunrises are a visual of our God.
We obsess over, pursue, chase, and try to desperately figure out our God and form a relationship with Him – and rightly so! After all, He is the creator of the universe. He placed every single star in the sky, every freckle on your body, takes every thought captive, and the list goes on and on. He deserves to be pursued. He is everything that we should be living and breathing for each and every day. But…that’s really tough. It’s tough to seek after something unseen, and for the majority of us, at least for most of the time, something unheard. We read, we pray, we study, we do this and that and sometimes we feel nothing in return. That’s a whole different post in itself. But it’s IMPOSSIBLE to feel “nothing” when looking at a sunrise or sunset. They are God’s fingerpaintings, the sky is His chalkboard. He is speaking to us through these magnificent colors, shapes, and He is taking out breath away and reminding us that HE IS HERE! He is with us! He will NEVER, EVER leave or forsake us.
It’s been awhile since I last posted. So, if you’re wondering where I’m at…here it is:
Things are still hard. Body image things have been a struggle and I’ve had to deal with some curve balls and jump through some hoops. Tis life! But aside from those few things, I have honestly been better than ever before! I have been running around like a crazy person doing things with friends, traveling, and just taking part in my own existence – OWNING my own life and being who I truly am! No day goes perfectly or as planned. I couldn’t even say that every day is good or even decent – some days are just really horrible. But that’s okay. Because even on the worst days, God is still there. God is still holding me and painting messages across the sky to remind me of His beautiful creation. I have felt more peace in the past month or so than I have in years.
God is with me. God is for me. God will never leave, fail, or forsake me. I am not perfect – but I am forgiven. There is someone who is collecting my tears, counting my sorrows, protecting my heart, opening and closing the right doors at the right times, leading me, and loving me unconditionally each and every moment of every day. God never sleeps. God is never wrong. God is never late. God never goes on “vacation”. I am loved, I am worthy, and I am seen as beautiful in the eyes of someone who died for me. If that doesn’t take your breath away, then just look outside your window as the sun is setting – God is there, and He’s calling to you!