The first week of Green Mountain Chamber Music Festival is coming to a close and I have so much to say that I don’t even know where to start.
I am humbled; humbled and constantly is awe of my Almighty God! What a Savior we serve!
Last night some friends and I walked into downtown Burlington, VT to watch some fireworks as a pre-4th of July celebration and we all ordered HUGE ice cream cones and sat by the lake and just talked. It was so peaceful and nice! I was able to share bits and pieces of my story with one particular friend and the validation and comfort I received was rewarding! I’m very vocal about my life and my journey in certain settings (for example, this website haha), with the intention of providing hope to others who suffer…however, in person with peers my own age – that’s a completely different story! But, being vulnerable has proven to be beneficial 9 times out of 10. So, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by these results!
I feel so incredibly blessed. I am surrounded by AMAZING faculty and working with great musicians, but more importantly – I’ve met some very sweet, kind, funny, and caring people. My cup is more than full – it is overflowing! As is my heart, but – nothing new there!
I am left speechless at different moments throughout each day when I reflect on how drastically my life has changed. There are challenges here, but nothing that I can’t face or deal with head on! I am getting faster at choosing food/meals in the dinning hall (and definitely less obsessive). I had a HUGE ice cream cone yesterday (an EXTRA snack!!). There have been food challenges and wins, of course. But the biggest accomplishments I’ve noticed are those of my emotional well being!
I have been able to confidently say, “I am a human being of equal worth to everyone else here and I will be confident in that and act on that.” No one here is greater than or lesser than me – we are all on even footing, as far as being a human being goes. Sure, there are many people here who have far surpassed me, musically – but that is something separate altogether.
I know exactly where this confidence has come from – it has come from Jesus Christ. I find my identity in Him and in Him alone, therefore I will not be shaken…even when the world around me undergoes a massive earthquake (speaking figuratively here). I am always able to find peace amongst even the roughest waters because I know who has the ultimate say – I know who is in control. And news flash: It’s not me! It’s not any of US!
We are called to be leaders and lights, not to control. To surrender my control to God has (and continues to be) one of the toughest things ever. I have a feeling it will continue to be challenging. But it’s worth it. It’s worth it to feel that peace – to let go and truly believe that there is more than this trivial life here on earth. We are in a temporary home, my friends. There’s comfort in knowing that no bad time can or will last forever. We can always find peace despite our circumstances. We can find peace, hope, and friendship in being vulnerable….in putting ourselves out there and in shamelessly loving others. I have fallen in love with the people who surround me both here and back at home. I have fallen in love with loving people. Mostly, I have fallen head over heels with a Savior who never leaves me, never fails, and NEVER shows up late. If you’ve read previous posts from me, you know how seriously I lost my way. This life is a journey to a much better, heavenly destination, and I truly believe that it is because I so severely lost my way that I have no found my way onto a much better, more rewarding, and peaceful path.
Thanks to the people that have made this summer experience so amazing, this far! There’s more people to meet, SO much more to learn, and lots of love to share! I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July! Spend some time today thanking God for all the blessings we experience here in America!
God Bless! ❤