My body melted into the chair, tired from such a long and intense week full of emotions and stress and upsets. Even though it was early, it felt SO nice to sit in the presence of a trusted companion – a confidant. We had two little angels dancing their way around us periodically…movies, coloring books, dolls, and other random toys littered the floor. Sleepovers and princesses, dreaming and dancing, silliness at it’s finest and most innocent. These beauties are priceless. It brought me joy just to watch them be unashamedly themselves in a world where, outside these doors, we are so often demanded to be anything but ourselves.
Little girls…dancing, swaying, laughing, singing. The purest image of innocence and love. Even though it helped my heart to watch them be themselves, my poor heart still felt unbearably heavy. I sighed – feeling the chair against my back, trying to sort through the confusion in my own head…where do I start? Where do I even begin?!
As I spilled my week out before this wonderful and trustworthy friend of mine I could literally feel myself get lighter. What a relief it is to share our burdens and our heavy loads. We don’t EVER have to struggle through life alone – there is always someone who is willing to help us carry our baggage and sort through it – compartmentalize what we need to keep and what we can toss out. And in the early morning light, the rain soft on the windows, and the back ground of little princesses laughter, this sweet human said something that stuck with me throughout the entire day…
We often wonder why God lets the awful things happen in our lives and in the world around us. We tend to look around and zone in on the tragedies, wondering where He is and what good could possibly come from all of this. What we neglect to remember and think about is the shear amount of catastrophe that he is preventing moment by moment. We think about how bad things are right now, but just imagine how much more awful they would be if God wasn’t interceding on our behalf every single moment of every single day?!
It blew my mind. All I ever zone in on is the things in my life that feel uncomfortable and “bad.” I don’t focus enough on 1. thanking God for the trials, knowing that He is sovereign and will work them for my good and 2. thanking God for all the pain I will never experience and feel because He is preventing it and stepping in on my behalf without me even realizing it.
I think if we experienced even the smallest fraction of the things God is protecting us from, it would literally (and spiritually) kill us. There is so much heartache and pain in this world – can you imagine if we didn’t have a God who was fighting for us? What if we didn’t have a God who has already stepped in and won the battle for us – the ones we don’t even realize are happening and the one’s we haven’t even faced yet?
Another reminder from this sweet, sweet friend: We don’t always have to know. We don’t always need the answers. Our drive to know as much as possible or even to know EVERYTHING is not admirable – it’s a quest for control. There is a difference between seeking out answers and feeling as though we can’t exist without them.
I think one of my new goals in life is to maintain joy and peace in the midst of trials and especially in the midst of the unknown. I seek out answers constantly, I lose sleep over the things I don’t know. Sitting in the unknown and finding joy and peace among the fear and confusion is ultimately what God wants for us. Trusting that He is fighting on our behalf – the battles we can see in front of us as well as all the millions and trillions of battles we’ll never be made aware of – these are admirable things. These are the things God wants for us.
Find your person. Find your confidant. Sit with them. Talk to them. Mostly, listen to all they have to share with you. We weren’t made to do life alone. If you can, find little princesses to lighten your heart – to watch them dance is to watch God create life in places we may have never thought to look, to hear them laugh is to hear the angels applauding in heaven.
“Though we may not be able to see his purpose or his plan, the Lord of heaven is on His throne and in firm control of the universe and our lives.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
“My grace is sufficient for you.”